Where was Chuck Norris?

My guess, the power of Walker, Texas Ranger, will be saved up and used for the actual Texas primary. Some thoughts on this magical night of political punditry, primaries and pizzazz...and by pizzazz I can only be referring to Janet Huckabee's red carpet stunner, sequined collared dress. Either she knew her very own former fattie and current retard of a husband was going to trick a lot of Southern illiterates into voting for him, or she wanted to relive her glory days as the star of a 1987 community theatre production of Dreamgirls. The audacity of hope tells me it's the latter.

Next, I watch Mitt Romney boast about winning the states that he has lived in and/or ran the Olympics in, unfortunately for him, it doesn't seem like he's going to carry the state of the beloved national saint/baboon Ronald Reagan. Ann Romney continues to have the same pained and flummoxed look on her face, like she inserted a tampon in the wrong way. Now, full disclosure here, First Lady voted for one Willard Mitt Romney, which, hey, even I admit he is a very handsome looking replicant. However, First Lady does take her civic duties seriously, and although she isn't thrilled with the Republican field, she found Romney's conservative credentials appealing. I think perhaps secretly she voted for him because she's curious to see if he really will be sworn in as Willard Mitt Romney and have his forty-seven children surrounding him in their magical underwear. That's a lot of magic!

Ex Page and I are fans of HRC, and really, who isn't? Dirty hippies, that's who! Well, I'll take your "Yes we can" and raise you a Jack Nicholson endorsement! Seriously, all the Kennedy power in the world can't trump that backing! And don't they realize that Hillary won all the states that are fun to have a party/ and or do drugs in? People need to stop caucusing in Idaho and start thinking about free crystal meth parties in Arkansas. However, even I will admit that she was more than likely gorging herself on Tollhouse cookies when Obama was declared winner of Connecticut until Terry McAuliffe was able to coax her away with a Mugg root beer.